


There's a Place For Us

by didsomeonesayventus



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 15:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9614480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didsomeonesayventus/pseuds/didsomeonesayventus
Summary: The road to dawn is such a lonely, winding one to take. You can't see where it ends, and you can't tell where you've been. Hold my hand. Walk with me.





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing Sora did when he got back was break Riku’s heart. Not purposefully, the boy was too kind for that. It happened faster than anyone could’ve anticipated: Kairi tackled, Sora and Riku laughed, they cried and barely talked out the remnants of anxiety the exam had left behind, and then suddenly Hero and Princess were kissing. His Princess. Her Hero.

Master Aqua was ushered in and folded into a moment of chaos that let the moment pass before Riku could really get a word or reaction in.

Later that night there was no tears. There was no lament echoing off the walls over a heart being denied both of its loves. Riku could only stare at the ceiling and realize that it had been this way from the start. Sora loved him- he loved everyone -but not the love that made Riku’s gaze fixate on the smallest, most wonderful details and imperfections. He loved in a pure and almost divine sort of way, the selfless encouragement that came from what must have been pure, undistilled goodness, and Riku in comparison loved from selfish desire. He wanted Sora. Sora who felt like another half of his heart, Sora who seemed to be the perfect Yang to his Yin. He wanted Sora for himself, his to love, his to claim, his and his alone.

And yet Riku vowed he would learn to love like Sora above the tears welling in his heart.

It helped he had new duties as a master to attend to. Distractions amongst all the running around and helping worlds recover and prepare and anticipating Xehanort’s next move. Riku lost himself in his work, but managed to find small times to dote on Sora and Kairi. Love like Sora, he reminded himself in the mirror.

He knew what happened last time he didn’t.

...

Riku could remember the first time he saw Ven, and he let it pass with the assumption the boy was Roxas getting along spectacularly with Aqua. Sora loved, and Sora loved enough to give people second chances. It wasn’t anything to remark to him, the Nobody returning. Even then, he didn’t have much to say to Roxas, not when he wasn’t ready to talk to him. So he passed on.

Until Aqua noticed Riku, and nudged Ven to goad him into a glance.

A blue eye, stunning, beautiful, richer than sapphires and shining in a way that made the heavens paltry but just as wide and inviting. Sora’s eye, and a gaze that drew Riku into a halt. Ventus looked at Aqua, and she explained something with an eager, proud smile.

Ven turned around more, and Riku felt his stomach clench with terror as he realized just one eye was blue. The other was gold, over polished and molten, burning into his flesh with curiosity he’d never hoped to see again. 

An eye of Sora, and an eye of Xehanort. A piercing Light and a deep Shadow, at odds with each other and at odds for Riku’s opinion.

But then Ventus lifted his hand, waving it gently over his shoulder with a shy and quirked smile. Crooked like the mantle back home, improperly replaced after being knocked over during a storm. Shy, but inviting, the way Kairi had first introduced herself to him and Sora.

Maybe not exactly Xehanort, then.

...

There wasn’t much time for them to get properly introduced before they were shoved together for reconnaissance, and Ven’s impetuous nature left Riku in the dust too often to strike up conversation. Always new things ahead, new ideas, new fights, new everything. Love like Sora, Riku reminded himself gently every time Ventus rushed ahead to an inopportune tune.

“Where ya from?” Riku asked from below, along cobblestone and packed earth.

“Whaddya mean by that?” Ven answered from above, leaning and lounging amongst branches.

“It’s a pretty clear question.” Riku stopped to look up at Ven.

“Well, ‘from’ can mean a lotta things.” Ven held onto a branch and leaned out, clinging to it while his gaze searched the horizon. A blithe smile was on his features, a detached sort of bliss taking the front while his eyes roamed emerald hill after emerald hill.

Riku put his hand in his pocket. The other held onto his Keyblade a little tighter. His head tilted, bending to the breeze. He said nothing, feeling no need to repeat what Ven had clearly heard already, and only decided to let his gaze push the matter.

Ven finally looked down at him, and his eyebrows arched just the way Sora’s would. “Oh, you... really aren’t kidding, huh?” Ven jumped onto a branch ahead. “Bit of a forward conversation to have, huh?”

“Just curious.” Riku replied as he trudged ahead right behind him, “I want to get to know the people I’ll be fighting with. Knowing what corner of the universe influenced you can kinda help with that.”

Ven shrugged, “There’s not a lot to me I haven’t already put out. Pretty easy to read, huh?”

Riku shrugged back. Ven was admittedly very simple. Cheery face, a bit shy before becoming bolder and bolder. Roxas but happy, but then again there was an underlying current of something more. People shouldn’t be that easy, nor that simple. Riku knew the strategies Ven was using: the diversion, the basic answers.

Ven was hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you: Katie can't ship normal things, the novella.


	2. Chapter 2

Sora and Kairi were joined at the hip. No ifs, ands, or buts, they were inseparable. Kairi would lounge in Sora’s lap and play with his hands. He’d take a nap in hers. Missions had equal shares fighting and flirting, combat maneuvers became dances peppered with loving caresses.

Ventus, meanwhile, was either being rejected from the crowd or isolating himself. The actual Roxas didn’t want anything to do with him, apparently offended by the personal chatterbox mirror. Sora and Kairi were both too busy ensuring they got a couple year’s worth of dating in before the end of the world amongst other responsibilities. Aqua duties dragged her away from Ven, the same for King Mickey and his entourage. Lea was Lea, and even then more inclined to be with Roxas and Xion. Ven didn’t talk much with anyone, anyways. A happy first impression was becoming a ghost.

Riku knew their last conversation besides the ever-awkward “Hi how are you hanging in there” was his prying during their last mission. He was about to let that same blur of words happen again. Let the boy pass with his hunched shoulders and thoughtful gaze at his feet. But Riku bumped into him, and in their shared look he muttered, “You sure you’re doing okay?”

Ven looked down. He looked up. “Y-yeah.”

Riku looked down. He looked up. “You’re sure? You can tell me anything, Ven.”

Ventus hugged himself, gaze darting this way and that as he thought it over. His mouth twisted, rolling his cheeks this way and that.

“I ask,” Riku began, “because I know it’s hard.”

“What do you know?” Ven said suddenly, his tone becoming distinctly more bitter, defensive, “If I say I’m fine-”

“From my experience,” Riku cooly cut Ven off as his suspicions were only confirmed, “That’s a very big and very easy lie to make sometimes.”

Ven faltered, backed up, and walked away without an answer.

...

Riku was used to dreams. He was used to frightening things.

He was not used to someone coming to him because of them. 

It started with shuffling feet outside his door, and that continued periodically to the point where he couldn’t sleep because of the noise. Who was walking around? Was it someone who needed to use the bathroom? Was it Xehanort trying to get the upper hand on them?

With that, Riku summoned his Keyblade, approached the door, and-

“HAH!”

“WOAH!”

Way to Dawn barely missed Ven’s nose and the rest of him. Riku withdrew, brow furrowed and lips puckered. Ven rocked forward, slowly, and his eyes were large, invitingly curious, too. The startled gaze gave Riku a once-over before Ven hissed, “What was that for?”

“I-I’m sorry...” Riku dismissed his blade, “I thought... it wasn’t anyone pleasant snooping around.”

Ven folded his hands behind his head and looked down the hall. Riku’s eyes wandered over Ventus, how easily he held such a pose, and so still, at that. He’d seen the boy in combat, restless as the win, and to see him so stiff and quiet-

“Can I bunk with you tonight?” Ven murmured, a dry, tried sound. Upon hearing Riku’s slightly questioning grunt of a reply, he lowered his arms to fold them in front of him, “I-I can’t sleep.”

“I... uh...” Riku abandoned commenting on Ventus having slept years already and leaned against his doorframe while he tilted his head, “Why not Aqua?”

“I don’t want to bother her.” Ven said. He grinned, just for a moment, “If anything, it was always...” his features fell, “It was always... Terra, who I’d sleep with when I couldn’t. He always felt... stronger.” He lifted his head and waved his hands, “N-not like Aqua isn’t just-! Uh! T-Terra was a bit bigger, y-you know?!” Ven degraded into embarrassed mumbling.

“You sure you don’t want to... uh, read a book or something?” Riku muttered, a little unsure how to approach. “That’s always helped me.” He shrugged, “I-I’m sorry, I just... don’t really have the space and it’s too much to move your bed in here-”

“Floor’s fine.” Ven said. Too soon, too fast, and Riku squinted. He looked down. Love like Sora, so what would Sora do?

Ven looked at his feet as well, but he ended up repeating himself with a mutter, “Floor’s fine. I’ve slept in worse places. I just need someone there, and I don’t wanna see if Aqua has any problems sleeping, too. I don’t wanna think about that.” He shrugged a little “I-I can bring my blanket, since ya probly need me to.”

Riku pulled himself from the door and gestured into his room, “I mean... my bed’s big enough for the two of us, if you don’t mind a little cuddling.”

Riku felt his heart skip a beat when Ventus smiled- really, genuinely smiled for probably the first time since they met -and the warmth next to him that night was more than welcome.

But in the morning Ventus was already up and gone by the time Riku woke up tangled in sheets and tucked away on one side of the bed. He seemed to wake up slowly, blinking like some sort of cow as he rolled over and pressed his hand to a long-cold part of the bed.

He sat up and squinted at the sunset hues invading his room- the passable excuse for dawn at Yen Sid’s tower. The heavens never really seemed to move here, like certain worlds out there. Stubbornness on part of the world or not, Riku couldn’t really fathom. 

At least it always looked pretty.

...

“Ven! Get back here!” Riku yelled. Sora did the same, but also the similarly reckless move of charging after him towards a swarm of Heartless Aqua had identified as a Demon Tide. Not exactly the most friendly Heartless name he’d ever heard of.

Riku, admittedly, panicked. Ignored the fact that they all were competent and made a pretty strong party. He held out his hand, and his war cry carried the dark fire that flew from it to the target. Ven and Sora were almost hit, but after backing off the two jumped off the beast, into the air, and slashed it to pieces where Aqua finished the job with another burst of magic.

For a moment the battlefield was silent, not any different than any other fight. Sora rushed over and patted Riku on the back, congratulating him for giving them the opening and also offending his nostrils with sweat-soaked clothes, but soon faltered.

Sora and Riku stared at Ventus and Aqua. Aqua and Ventus stared back as if they’d just seen the boys break the law. Aqua’s eyes wide with one hand over her mouth, Ventus all but terrified.

“What?” Sora was the first to speak up, a voice for Riku’s slowly shutting down senses. He thought people would stop staring at him like this, stop showing horror when he showed that his heart held more than the power of light. Sora snapped him out of it by slapping his back, “Riku! Don’t pay attention to them! You did great!”

“I-I-” Aqua suddenly spoke up, hesitant, confused, attempting to seize the reins of her composure. “H-How are we any better than Xehanort if we use the darkness?! Did no one teach you-”

“We taught ourselves.” Riku said softly.

Sora slung his Keyblade over his shoulder, “Things change. Riku found a way to use the darkness and not be like Xehanort-”

“F-for now!” Aqua insisted, “Master Eraqus always taught us that darkness corrupts, and Xehanort only proved that-”

“SHUT UP!” Sora yelled, waving a hand in front of Riku. “I said things change! Riku’s made mistakes, but he’s not Xehanort!”

Riku felt nothing but overwhelming relief at Sora’s defense. Even after showing what had been taken as preference to Kairi, Sora still adored him just as much. The boy’s enthusiasm gave him a resolve of his own, a quiet reminder that he’d already dealt with these feelings, a love for himself found again. He was no different, if anything he was wiser now. Aqua and Ven were from an age gone by.

“In your absence, Master Aqua,” Riku said with weight to each word, “we developed without any of the teachings Keyblade Masters had passed down. We didn’t even know such a title actually existed until recently. There’s still a lot we don’t know.” Sora nodded at this, but oddly held a smug smile, as if knowing nothing was his biggest achievement.

“But what we do know is that there is a way to use darkness.” He said with pointed look, “And it’s gonna take some time for you to learn to deal with it.”

“It’s... never been done before. Not without a Keyblade wielder becoming corrupt.” Aqua folded her arms.

Riku shrugged, “We did it because we weren’t listening to an echo chamber. No Masters and no rules left us making a bunch of mistakes, I won’t deny that, but we came out of them stronger for it.” He looked at Ventus, and felt his brow furrow at how the boy was relaxing, looking at him curiously instead of fearfully.

“Darkness isn’t entirely bad, light isn’t entirely good. They’re just opposites.” Sora spoke up. “What really matters is how ya use ‘em!”

Riku wondered if he was the only one who caught the relief in Ven’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also fun fact before this got wildly out of control this was gonna be one big ol' chapter thing but welp as u can see I decided to break things up.
> 
> anyways it's 1amish I need to finish this


	3. Chapter 3

When so many people spent so much time under the same roof, you had to develop certain rhythms. Girls showered in the morning, followed by the boys, and they had to be quick or else the hot water would need a jumpstart with a firaga that left it scalding for the next fifteen minutes and you either had to brave it or let the water cool. Everyone had a laundry day and shift, Sora starting off the week in the morning, and the week ended with Aqua neatly folding her clothes in the evening.

It was a bit of a nightmare whenever this precariously balanced schedule was disturbed.

Ventus had been okay with managing to scrape in, but this morning he’d been spending way beyond his carefully allotted minutes in the bathroom. Luckily there was a second one where the line was moving, but Riku found himself still waiting for his turn, and therefore waiting on Ven. Loving like Sora, and deciding to wait for a chance to use a bathroom where he was supposed to use it.

He knocked on the door, “Ven? You alright in there?”

“Fine! I-I’m fine just... gimme a bit.”

Riku cracked the door open, “Ya sure-”

He fell silent when he got a glimpse in the mirror, seeing Ven scrambling, but amongst the flailing limbs and right upon his chest and over his heart was an all too familiar scar.

The same kind of scar Sora had over his heart.

A scar that made Riku’s blood freeze.

Before he could ask Ven about what caused it (which would be a bald-faced lie since he knew how Ven must have acquired such a terrible mark on his flesh, and likely upon his heart), the boy rushed out to finish getting dressed in his own room.

...

Riku had been reading a book. It was dry, incredibly so, but Yen Sid had plopped it in his hands with the insistence that it would teach him something. So far it was only teaching him resolve, endurance, and patience. Almost a struggle to read, most surely one to comprehend-

“Riku?”

Riku looked up to see Ven before him. Standing rather rigid, a question written in every subtlety of his features. His mouth squirmed and his eyes darted away, and then he bowed a little, “I-I’m sorry. Master Riku, I have a question for you.”

Riku folded the book closed, “No need to call me Master.” He sat back in the study chair and gestured to another one, “What’s up?”

Ven looked back at the offered seat, but didn’t take it. His hands came from his sides to wring each other out in front of his stomach, and he said quietly, “T-the other day... About... About what you did...”

“The darkness?” Riku took a shot at what Ven was getting at, “Because that’s... yeah, it must be weird for you guys.”

Ven’s gaze flickered to the floor, retreating in a way that was disgustingly familiar to Riku, “Master Eraqus he... outright forbid it in his teachings.”

And Riku thought everyone telling him the darkness was bad was a horribly damaging thing. From what he had heard from Aqua, their old master was deeply respected, a father and mentor to the fledgling Keybearers that had grown to become the hollowed shells they called upon to fight once more for the fate of the worlds. To be told day in and day out how something that was merely another side of power was wrong, no wonder Aqua’s opinion had taken such a sudden, disapproving turn.

“And those are old teachings.” Riku said bluntly, resuming his reading, “This is a new age, Ven. One where light and darkness are in actual balance. Not focused on light triumphing over shadows, nor one where even the stars barely shine.”

“I thought the darkness was bad....” Ven protested softly.

“Darkness is just half of a whole.” Riku corrected, “It’s got bad feelings, but it isn’t bad, Ven. Depends on how you use it.” He finally huffed and put the book aside, bending forward. It sounded like Ven needed to hear what he heard from Mickey in the wake of his consequences: support.

“It’s only evil if you use it for evil ends.”

And Riku saw the apprehension in Ven’s face melt away into that same relief he saw that day.

...

It was an unbearably hot day. The girls were allowed to strip to shorts and sports bras, and the boys were picking playful fights over who had a better physique. Except for Ventus, who’d decided to keep at least a tank top on.

While Sora and Roxas were marveling at how they were carbon copies of each other (save the fact Roxas was slightly malnourished and they had different scars), Riku had been having to deal with Lea whining that the young master was in better shape than his elder. Kairi had only been gossiping with Aqua about how to get a decent six pack and how to deal with the initial awkwardness of being in better shape than most men would let themselves be in.

Riku sat next to Ven, and idly oversaw Sora picking a spar with Lea. He got beaten in half a minute because he’d been distracted by Kairi.

“Ven, you know...” Seeing Sora’s chest proudly bearing all sorts of marks, even the star-like badge that denoted that once he had unwaveringly given the ultimate sacrifice, had reminded him of the bathroom incident, “We’re all friends here.”

Ven looked away and fluffed his tank top, “I’m good. S’not that hot.”

Riku decided to play his trump card: he knew why Ven wasn’t joining the others languishing away in the heat, “Ven, Sora’s got the same one. Everyone here’s got scars, ‘cept maybe Kairi. It’s no big deal.”

Ven got up and rushed away from Riku, struck up idle chat with Aqua, and Riku did not pursue.

...

It had been long after that day. Long after feeling his heart breaking in two, and yet Riku found himself unable to sleep. The way Sora held Kairi, the way they moulded to each other like wet clay in skillful hands. It was unbelievably sickening to think about when Riku had nothing else to distract him. Sickening? Because of what, jealousy?

His friends were happy, shouldn’t he be fine with that?

A piercing wail disturbed him from his contemplation. For a second he had to wonder if it was Roxas before remembering that Roxas didn’t keen at such a high pitch. Like the world was ending. He strained his ears and hear the remnants of the scream dwindling to the hushed motherly tones of Aqua.

Riku found himself getting up and walking down the hall, lost in thought as to why the two would be up so late and what was going on between them-

“Riku?!”

He had bumped into Sora in his focus, but regained concentration to shush his friend immediately. “It’s the middle of the night!”

“Yeah, but you heard that, too, right?” Sora hissed back, “Is Ven alright?”

“I’d ask you the same thing and you’d probably give me a better answer.” Riku muttered back.

The boys stared at the door to Aqua’s quarters, the source of the lamentations that gripped them from slumber.

“Kairi woke up and said somethin’ about a dark presence and then we heard Ven.” Sora explained, “Figured I’d check it out.” Riku glanced a little more down to see that, yes, Sora was checking it out. The Kingdom Key was not overtly brandished, swung around like a baseball bat in Sora’s rough and unrefined form, but it was at his hip and at the ready. His fist seemed a tight white around the handle.

“Xehanort?” Riku asked.

“Kairi said a dark presence. Maybe.”

“Darkness means a lot of things.”

“Think Aqua got hurt?”

“Easy enough to think of.”

“Maybe we should-”

Riku grabbed Sora’s wrist when his fingertips brushed the handle. He shook his head. Sora’s eyes were electric blue in the darkness, furrowed with resolve. He nodded his head to the door, and Riku shook his again.

“If Aqua was hurt he’d be screaming even more. Let’s listen first.” Riku urged.

“Okay,” Sora begrudgingly agreed, “But if he’s hurt, too, it’s your fault.”

Their ears pressed to the door, and eyes fell shut to catch what came through. Crying, soft reassurance. No urgent matter, it seemed like Ven was just upset and Aqua was trying to calm him down. Sora and Riku opened their eyes and exchanged a pitying glance.

“Maybe a nightmare?” Sora was the first to suggest.

“Probably a nightmare.” Riku agreed wholeheartedly. Everyone in the tower got them. Horrible visions from past fights and battles yet to be fought. Came with the weight of the giant key in Sora’s hand, came with the weight of every world’s future trained upon their efforts.

And the two friends bumped fists to seal the agreement before shuffling back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (yodels very softly about Riku being a mentor to Ven)


	4. Chapter 4

As the days wore on, Riku realized his first impression of Ventus was very, very wrong. The boy only put up an air of joy, a reflexive barrier to hide the crushing weight he bore. The more he saw Ven play his silly pranks, but then stagger and stammer and apologize, the more he realized that Ven was only happy because he had nothing else to hide the pain in his heart.

What that pain was, Riku wasn’t entirely sure.

He asked Kairi about the darkness she’d felt, and she shrugged. Her abilities were only tuned to the elements, not what feelings they were. She’d felt darkness, a great, suffocating darkness. Riku went to Aqua, and tried to pry into their past before she’d slammed shut on him and said that Ventus would tell everyone when he was ready.

So it was to Ventus Riku went next... if he could find him. He checked every hallway, he checked the study and every bedroom. Everyone shrugged, at a loss as to where Ventus had gone and ultimately joining the search. When consulted, Yen Sid stroked his beard and could only say that Ventus had not left the tower yet. Riku then figured he’d check out anywhere else, the weird places. Bathrooms, kitchen, basement, and at last in the attic Riku discovered Ven’s breadcrumbs: the door to the roof hung ajar.

Riku strode out onto the tiling, “Ven, everyone’s- VEN!”

Ventus was almost teetering on the edge of the roof, and if Riku hadn’t grabbed his hand the surprise surely would’ve caused Ven to lose his balance and fall. He wobbled, almost to his doom, but Riku lunged to grab his hand and drag him to the safer parts of the roof.

The two stared at each other for a long, long time before Ven averted his gaze and pulled his wrist from Riku’s grip with a soft, “Thanks.”

“No... no problem.” Riku replied. His head felt like it was ringing from the thought that if those crucial seconds played out differently... He looked at the edge, saying, “That’s a big drop...”

Ven didn’t reply, and held his arm.

“That’s a really big drop.” Riku repeated for emphasis.

“Y-yeah.” Ven whispered.

Riku didn’t like that. The wind up there seemed to amplify the gap between them, create a space that was hard to cross. Ven was perfectly still in the gale, save his hair (softer, curlier than Roxas’s more styled locks) bouncing around and his teeth carefully rolling his lip (so perfectly pouty).

“Ven, are you okay?” Riku asked.

Ven shrugged, “I-I’m-”

“If you’re gonna say fine, mean it.” Riku harshly interjected.

After a deep wince, Ven bowed his head, “Alright. I’m not.” It was satisfying to hear Ven finally admit that. Finally cave in and say how his levity was only skin deep. It was less so when Riku saw the first few droplets rolling down Ven’s chin. “I’m not fine.” His voice became thick and bubbly, a concoction of misery that sank into Riku’s stomach and let it drop.

Riku took a step forward, “Alright, that’s the first step-”

“Step to what?!” Ven snapped at him, turning away and waving his hands in the air, “First step in your perfect little plan?” He suddenly rolled with that thought, apparently finding a new idea to bite with, “First step in using me like everyone else has?!”

Ven’s brows were knotted together into a kind of pain Riku had never seen in another. Intense betrayal and a deep wound. A pain he knew once. A pain that was eased by Sora’s love for him, how Sora had never meant to turn his back on his best friend, how even when he was steeped in darkness Sora was unafraid to turn him back to the light.

Riku held out his hand, “The first step to being fine.”

Ven’s expression softened, and everything about him sagged. The tense in his shoulders became a melting puddle full of his worries and woes. “What do you know...” He muttered. “You’re just a kid.”

“We’re all just kids.” Riku said softly. His hand was still offered, frozen in air and ready for Ven to take it so he could stop sinking, “And I know more than you think.”

“It doesn’t help, you know.” Ven continued, “How you keep saying the darkness isn’t bad.”

“Because it isn’t, and I’m telling you this so you don’t find out the hard way how dangerous that kind of thinking can be.” Riku kept his voice even, gentle, but firm. Love like Sora, but maybe love like him, too.

“You’re not even a real Master. You weren’t taught by one.” Ven’s arms wrapped around himself, and he was almost doubled over now.

Riku reeled in a reflexive hiss, but it was hard to hide the offense in his tone, “Ven, I was named a Master by Yen Sid, and I was guided by Mickey. I earned my title.” Earned it through sweat and blood and tears instead of formal training, over a year of running around and in circles and in despair and in halfhearted hope. It was not a title given to him overnight or because he wrote in the right answers.

“Whatever...” Ven murmured, “It’s not gonna make a difference anyways...”

“What makes you think that?” Riku asked.

Ven finally looked at him again. Large, doleful eyes. Sapphire blue and topaz gold, almost multifaceted in how their hues went from purple to cerulean, warm brown to lemon yellow. But there was something broken, something terrified, something that Ven had seen and would never forget. Something that made him suddenly tremble.

“You don’t know who you’re up against.”

Riku took a moment to let the words sink in, the way the “ooo” sounds wavered and the uneven dip and sway in his syllables. Ven kept staring at him like he expected for Riku to do something about the words. Chase them away, rebuke them, agree, something.

“Well, we’re against Xehanort and he’s crazy, that much I know.” Riku said with a shrug. He also knew about how Xehanort could play them all like chess pieces, playing a game with them on a scale they couldn’t see. It was hard to tell what moves helped who.

Ven laughed, a nervous sort of titter that made his shake his head and double over like his was in agony, “Oh ho ho, he’s not crazy. He’s worse that that.” Ven’s voice cracked, “He’s worse.”

Riku watched as Ven slowly fell to his knees on the roof, suddenly shaking and bawling. Ven’s limbs tangled around himself, trying to make a small little ball of Ventus that couldn’t be troubled by the weight in his heart coming to light. It was a pitiful sight. Riku looked away, seeking a new angle to approach.

“He hurt me, too.” He said softly.

“He’s hurt everyone in some way.” Ven snapped, “But you don’t-”

“No,” Riku said softly, sitting down next to Ven, “I think I do.”

Ven had no scathing reply. Riku closed his eyes, “When I was younger, Ansem-” He swore under his breath, “Xehanort’s Heartless. He offered me power and I accepted it without thinking about what I was getting into.” He nodded, “I made a mistake... or...” he paused, “several. He hurt me, he helped me hurt myself, and I’ve only recently come to terms with myself after everything I did.” Riku looked at Ven, then hesitantly rubbed his shoulder, “Healing takes time. Letting it out helps.”

Ven looked at him, puffy-eyed and through both bangs and a defensive shoulder. Riku smiled at him, “I’ll be here, okay?”

Ven looked forward with an indifferent huff. But Riku said he’d be there, and be there he was. He sat next to Ven in silence and watched the stars. Soon enough, Ven uncurled ever so slightly and joined him. Riku glanced over, marveling at how the specks of light carried from worlds away reflected so easily in such a broken gaze. A night sky of sorrow filled with the smallest seeds of hope. It was mesmerizing to see the shifts in every facet of light in his crystalline gaze.

Then it looked down, and soon curls of gold drew over them like curtains. Riku had hardly any time to ask before Ven said softly, “You’re.... Were... scary.”

Riku shrugged, and attempted to make light, “I know, I’m taller than most,” he lazily flexed his arms, “and got more muscles than Lea that’s for sure-”

“No,” Ven’s voice was still soft. His fingers dug into the tiling, “I-I mean... before. A-at Hollow Bastion.”

The mirth dropped from Riku like a stone off the tower, and the breeze froze his bones. He didn’t even think Ven would know about that, but in hindsight it was perfect sense. Ven was in Sora’s heart. Ven had witnessed it. Everything. It had been a long time since he’d felt so lightheaded.

“He was scared. You were different.” Ventus continued, “You weren’t Riku, and he was so terrified.” Sora had never gone into detail about it, had never talked with him more about it than just “it’s happened I forgive you it’s okay.” To think Sora was scared... Scared of him. Ven’s hand hesitantly wrapped around his, and he said, “You’re not like that any more.”

Ventus got up and left, nothing more than the wind on Riku’s skin so blissfully cold.

...

Riku and Ven exchanged knowing glances between each other, but anything more than that moment on the roof never appeared. Time was drawing onward, and tension was wearing them all thin. Sora and Kairi were smiling less, Lea’s one-liners were becoming weary. The weight was getting to everyone.

It was the middle of the night when Riku decided he needed fresh air, and so after throwing on a pair of pants he wandered out into the courtyard. They’d long cleared the place of Heartless so well that fewer and fewer spawned, so it had become a quiet place of contemplation.

Quiet, save Ven’s string of muttering breath. He was cross legged in the grass, lounging against one arm in his pjs (a shirt too big that hung off his shoulder and shorts) while he stared at his upheld hand offering flickers of darkness to the empty air. Riku squinted. Ventus of all people was able to get a Dark Fire going?

“Been studying, huh?” He asked.

He had to raise his blade when Ven hurled it at him, eyes wide and teeth clenched. He relaxed when he realized who had come, and mumbled, “S-sorry... surprised me.”

Riku walked over and sat down, “Nah, you’re good.” He then jabbed Ven’s shoulder, “That was also really good. I think you’re the only one besides me around here who’s managed to get that spell down.” Ven stared at his hand rather worryingly, as if Riku had just told him it needed to be amputated. Riku sighed and said once more, “Ven, the darkness is fine. You just have to understand what it is and show it who’s boss, or it’s gonna be the one bossing you around.”

Ven’s mouth hesitantly quirked into a smile, and he whispered, “Would you... show me?”

Riku let their gazes linger before he looked at the grass. It was beneficial to teach Ven how, but...

“Only if you’ll tell me what’s wrong and way you’re always so sad. Deal?”

Soon enough Riku was explaining, then the two were standing with Ven making puffed out, heroic poses as he tried to master his untapped darkness. Which there was a surprising amount of, Riku realized. Even for someone so morose, Ven’s dark power rivaled his own in terms of raw capacity and potential. When he held Ventus to help him focus or assume a better position, he could feel the jolt of power passing between them, and soon enough simple blasts were making him stumble. For the longest time Riku knew he was supposed to guide and lead, and this moment felt more like that than he ever had. Gently helping that dark flame grow into something he could use, helping him knit it into a shield of his own will to chase away any nightmare. Being there for a reflection of himself.

And when the time came, they laid down in the grass to stare at the stars, head to head as Ven finally relinquished everything he had held so close to his heart- and to Riku’s surprise in incredible detail. Riku’s ears were wide open, ready to drink in the problems that had been bugging him ever since they’d met. Ventus talked without restraint. Of Master Eraqus (well intentioned but blind) and Master Xehanort (more horrible than imagined), Aqua (before she was a Master herself) and Terra (a man Riku remembered so faintly...), love and hate (forces so in balance but also tearing each other apart at the throat), truths and lies (of which there was many), joy and despair (a rollercoaster of emotion Riku knew too well), life and death (so young to know such heavy things), light and darkness (Ven himself, polar opposites that refused to reconcile). 

Ven’s hands gestured to the stars as if they would help illuminate what he was trying to say through a voice that slowly lost itself in tears, but soon enough Riku found himself lifting his hand to gently grab Ven’s and bring it down to earth. He was crying, too, out of the purest sympathy. He knew about feeling so lost, he knew about feeling so confused and hurt, he knew the struggle to find himself. Ven held his hand tight as his voice fluctuated between piercing keen and whispers carried by a dry wind, a vice like grip that spoke of so much sorrow but also pure relief.

After too long Ventus fell silent, and Riku suddenly realized all had been said. He wiped at his eyes and tried to let it sink in while Ven let it all ring. A few hiccups later he muttered, “S-sorry... That was... long.”

“... You’re stronger than me.” Was the first thing Riku said. “I can’t believe you still have the energy to smile,” came next. Riku sat up and pulled Ventus up with him, and whispered, “Look at me.” Ven did so, sniffling, bawling, lost in the agony of his own memories. Riku pulled up his second hand and covered Ven’s, and whispered, “You are so strong, Ven.”

“I’m not,” he protested, “I couldn’t do anything, I-I couldn’t save them no matter what I tried-”

“But you tried.” Riku said so gently, rubbing Ven’s hand. “You tried so hard.”

And soon enough Ventus fell face-first bawling into Riku’s shoulder, sobbing, “T-thanks...” His hands were shaking like frail branches in the slightest wind, but dug into Riku’s back like claws. Riku rubbed Ven’s back in reply, softly patting it down while he continued crying a river, and maybe a few tributaries while he was at it.

“There’s another step.” Riku said softly.

Ven made a confused, sopping wet grunt.

“Another step to getting better.” Riku said. “You let it all out. A nice big flush of emotion.” He laughed a little, “I was a little more gradual than that, but to each their own.”

Ven’s laughter sounded a bit forced, likely out of politeness.

Riku patted his back a little stronger, “If you need to, keep crying. It helps.” He knew from those days when his blindfold became soaked, from days when he didn’t want to help wake Sora up, from being told how he was no different from fiends and monsters, how he knew he’d hurt Sora and Kairi irreparably. “Every tear helps, just don’t dwell on them. Let ‘em go, let ‘em roll right off your cheeks.” Riku murmured.

And they remained huddled like that almost the whole night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww look, they're emotionally bonding :')


	5. Chapter 5

The Heartless were getting stronger. Their Keyblades felt heavier in their hands for every extra hit that they used to not need. The burns became deeper, the scrapes became cuts and cuts became chunks of missing skin. Everyone had suddenly mastered Curaga to the nth degree and were already learning of the crucial timing of healing. Even with magic and potions, though, every weary bone was also learning the importance of never needing to bring out healing. Some tended to dodge, others became stalwart shields. Offense was at an all time low and quick skirmishes became sprawling struggles.

Riku had been hoping to lead the charge and get rid of this pest, end the fight and go back to rest and puzzle over why this was happening (Xehanort, probably, but how?) but found he had bitten off too much. He was already far from prime, and the fight had been going on too long. He slipped up, landed a glancing blow that drew the creature’s attention more than harmed.

Before Riku could even swear (and probably mark a foul mouth as his last words) there was a yell. He was briefly confused by the deeper, but familiar pitch, and even more so by Ventus hurtling in front of him and summoning and dark barrier. And keeping it up, at that. Soon enough everyone else had scrambled in to deal with the Heartless, and it was only then Ventus let the barrier fade away. He turned around, “Riku, you okay?”

Riku didn’t get a chance to reply before Aqua rushed over with a shocked and somewhat angered call of his name, “Ventus?! Ven, what was that-”

“A-a barrier...?” Ven scratched his cheek as the most unconvincing warble slipped past his lips, “N-nothin’ big-”

“Ven I have been trying to teach you how to use barriers for years.” Aqua’s tone dropped the same way Riku had fallen to the ground: sudden, and painful, judging by Ven’s wince.

“W-well how’d’ya know?!” Ven grumbled in response, “Maybe I learned some stuff-”

“You’ve been asleep for over a decade, Ven. You’re not gonna learn much and if anything you’re weaker than...” Her gaze softened and flickered downward a moment, “Almost anything before.”

Ven pulled his hands behind his head, “Well maybe I learned it yesterday when you weren’t-”

Aqua stepped forward, using her ice-cold “Master” voice, “Ventus, you better stop lying to me right now.”

Ven winced again. Kairi helped Riku to his feet, her hands unsteady on his form, skittery and hesitant. “What’s going on?”

“A mistake...” Riku muttered, realizing that Aqua knew full well Ven was using a barrier made with darkness and how much she hated it. He stood, albeit wobbling as if the wind was toying with him, “Aqua-”

“Okay fine!” Ven suddenly threw up his hands, “Fine! It’s not one of your barriers, Aqua, it’s Riku’s!” Riku and Aqua exchanged a glare. “He showed me how. He showed me how to use the darkness.” Ventus spat it out, starting out bitter and angry before falling off into a tired sigh.

“The-” Aqua stopped herself, eyes wide. They trembled to catch a thousand memories flashing across them, trying desperately to compile a response to words that were making her shut down. Ven? Darkness? Riku? She shook her head, and set her jaw, “Ventus! The Master-”

“Enough about your master!” Sora called, dragging Lea with him over his shoulder, “None of us have heard of him, and yet we’re just fine-”

“Master Eraqus never taught us to use the darkness, Ven-” Aqua tried to get her words in before Ventus screamed at her with a furious swipe of his hand.

“WELL MAYBE MASTER ERAQUS WAS _FULL OF SHIT!_ ”

Everyone could’ve heard a pin drop in the silence that followed, save the moment where Lea released a tired, weary whoop of delight at the fact one of the kids had finally swore, and it was probably the most innocent one. Though that was very quickly shot down by Sora smacking him upside the head. 

Ven’s face was set in angry stone, but it was starting to crack into regret. He trembled, bit his lip, rolled his brows into a tangled, incomprehensible knot. He stood from his offensive stance to hug his arm and correct himself, “I-I’m sorry... Maybe Master Eraqus was... wrong.”

Aqua’s hands were consuming her sash, and her corset seemed to vibrate with the pace of her breaths. She shook her head and walked forward, “Ven, haven’t you learned anything-”

“I’ve learned more from Riku than you, or Terra, or even the Master!” Ven snapped back, taking steps forward himself. “Repressing it just makes everything worse-”

“Repressing it keeps you alive!” Aqua yelled.

“Bottling things up doesn’t help!”

“Oh, like you don’t do anything like that, Ven!”

“Well at least I can act like I’m upset!”

“What on earth has Riku taught you, disobedience?!”

“He’s taught me to accept myself-”

“You didn’t need to-”

“BREAK IT UP!” Sora passed Lea off to Kairi and shoved himself between Aqua and Ven. He shoved until they were both at arm’s length from him, which took a few tense minutes of straining and ugly, cacophonous yelling between the old wielders. When everything fell still again, Sora refused to look at either side when muttering, “I thought you two were friends...”

Aqua pulled herself away from Sora, years appearing on her face, “We are.”

Ven held onto Sora’s hand to pull it off, but not without gently rolling it into his to hold it and rub his thumb against the boy’s palm. “... we are.” He agreed with a tired lilt. He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he said softly, “It doesn’t matter what you use, Aqua, it’s how you use it.” He gently pushed Sora aside and walked forward again, “What did you want me to do? Leave Riku behind? Block it with my body?”

“Let someone more capable handle it!” Aqua said, exasperated at having to explain such an obvious answer, “I could’ve-”

“I beat you to it.” Ven cut her off. After a moment he laughed a little, “Cuz I’m faster than you.”

Aqua’s face broke into weary relief. Maybe there was pieces to salvage between them. She looked away, “Ven, I just...”

“Terra, Xehanort, the Master, where you’ve been...” Ven finished for her, “... yeah.”

Riku finally walked up, “If I may, Master Aqua,” He summoned a dark fire, and let it solidify into a barrier, “It requires diligence, and a lot of learning about yourself, but if everyone except the Princesses have darkness, where does that leave you?” He passed it into her hand, where it lingered before crumbling like dust in the wind.

Aqua closed her hand, lips thin with thought.

She closed her eyes and bit the inside of her cheek, and Riku saw a hundred feelings cross her face. He watched her smile though, and when her eyes opened they were just as reflective as her namesake, making his mirror-image vibrate between spots of light.

“Take care of him, okay? Promise me you won’t let him stray.”

Riku nodded, his vote of confidence only spoken in his boast, “He never will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vEN U SAID THE S WORD BAD VEN also plz forgive Aqua she has had a bad(tm) experience with the darkness


	6. Chapter 6

Riku had been reading when it happened. Reading was good, calmed him down, took him elsewhere. The study doors burst open, and he had only a moment of bliss before he turned around to see Sora and Kairi in the picture of teenage lust. Nothing too risque, but also not exactly a moment for the family album back home.

Kairi was the first to notice, head swiveling, yelping, then sighing when Sora- oblivious little lovestruck and probably high on being horny Sora -kissed her neck. “S-Sora...! Sora!”

“What?” Sora backed away, and the real Sora returned. Blithe naivety and a lack of any idea of how to handle things with subtlety. “Oh! Riku! H-hey...” Kairi looked sunburned, and honestly Sora did too, which was remarkable since that was a sight Riku and Kairi had never gotten to see. Except it wasn’t a sunburn. Riku knew exactly why his face was so red. “Uh. Didn’t... see you.”

He closed his book and stood, about to make a petty remark before stopping himself. Love like Sora...? Not like this...? When did they become two outta three? When did it become about Sora and Kairi and leaving him in the dust when it for so long had been him and Sora?

Riku knew these ugly feelings too well, and tossed his book onto his seat before storming out the doors in the best expression of his feelings. With every step his feet became heavier and harder to lift, his breath became shorter and shorter. For roughly two years he’d been the center of Sora’s attention, he’d been what the boy sought with so much passion, he felt loved and desired. 

He was happy with himself, he was a Keyblade Master now and a source of inspiration. Riku could’ve only dreamed of this only a short time ago, he could only covet the content and pride in his heart. But he finally had to admit Sora declaring his heart belonged to Kairi had ripped something from him, set him adrift in an endless sea. Water everywhere but not a drop to drink. Happiness with no real satisfaction.

He didn’t even know why he was on the roof. Maybe to get thin air to clear his lungs, maybe because it felt private. He knew it wasn’t because of the drop, though. That much he could say. His hand gripped his hair, ready to tear it out and scream. Instead he cried. Thick, broken tears over something he should’ve gotten over the moment Kairi stepped foot into their lives.

“Riku?”

“What, Roxas?” Riku muttered.

“Ven...” Ventus sat next to him, curled up neatly with crossed legs and hesitant, fidgety hands. “You’re not okay, are you?”

Riku dragged his gaze away by his hair before muttering, “no... I’m not.”

The hug was unexpected. Somehow firm and strong despite being formed from gangly and slightly malnourished arms. Soft and curvy and svelte instead of Sora’s chiseled bones and Kairi’s defined limbs. Sharper than Kairi, softer than Sora. Muscled enough but far from defined.

“It’ll get better.” Ven said softly. He then said, “This is the first step to being better.”

And with those words Riku turned his face into Ven’s chest and bawled. He could feel Ven give in surprise, perhaps stunned someone so stoic could make a sound like a wounded animal, but soon enough Ven had wrapped himself around Riku. A hand was tangled in silver locks, his chin rested on a broken and bowed crown. 

Riku cried about how much he already missed Sora looking at him like he was special, how he missed feeling like a group of three, how he missed everything before this mess and how if he could turn back time and be friends again he’d do it in a heartbeat. And Ven nodded, agreed to with Riku, but mostly just held him. Held him close and dear despite the fact the Keyblade Master was getting snot and tears everywhere on his clothes.

When Riku was done, he’d all but forgotten Ven was there. He didn’t say anything, only loosened his grip on Ven’s jacket and let his fingers fumble around with putting it back into place. Ven patted his back with wordless sentiment.

“It’s a lonely road...” Riku muttered, his voice parched. Ven made a questioning hum, “The road to dawn is such a lonely, winding one to take. You can't see where it ends, and you can't tell where you've been.”

Ven gently pushed Riku back up, guiding him by his shoulders till they were watching each other square in the face. He smiled, blue and gold lighting up like someone had went and polished them. “Then hold my hand. Walk with me.” Ven searched for Riku’s hands before knitting them together with his own, making a loose bond that felt like spider silk. “I-I’ve been thinkin’...” He said as he averted his gaze, “About how you’ve helped me. Grow, move on, that kinda thing...”

It was when Ven looked back that Riku felt his heart jump. The look on his face was adoring, wholeheartedly enamored with the young man in front of him. It was the way Sora would look at him. Ven loved like Sora. Riku was still trying to let it sink in before Ven quickly moved in and pecked his cheek. “Thanks.”

Before Riku even really knew what he was doing, he followed a trail of endorphins to kiss Ven back.

And this time he was the one who loved like Sora, and smothered him in affection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AT LAST IT IS FINISHEDDDDD.
> 
> or at least finished for now.
> 
> expect fics about cuddles later and slapped on as a series.
> 
> just let me scream about my rarepairs in peace.


End file.
